We’re on the fourth Monday of the New Year and I’m already wondering where has the time gone? The first month is wrapping up and where am I on my vision for 2016? This is the first year that I have put a real plan in place, having spent a Saturday with a great group for our Visioning 2016 class, and feel like I am finally getting the momentum I need to accomplish my lofty targets.
One thing I have noticed is I no longer dread Mondays. I normally would have looked at my calendar to see if I really needed to come into the office or if I could work from home. Note that is code for work in pajamas and catch up on whatever show I’m currently binge watching. Something happened back in December that was a paradigm shift. It was so major that some of the decisions that were made from that shift shocked many people close to me as much as it shocked me.
What happened was I read a book. Alright, I actually read two books but the second one was the sister book to the first and I wanted to full story. Leadership and Self-Deception by The Arbinger Institute was recommended to me more as a business book that could potentially help some of my coaching clients. The book follows a new manager at a company that operates in a manner far different from any other he had worked at. He learns from the company philosophy that you can either be “in the box” or “out of the box” with those around you. It breaks down to either treating others as people whose wants, needs, and emotions are as important as your own or treating others as objects who end up devalued and pushed aside.
This gave me pause. How many times have I treated others as objects? Did I get mad at the person who cut me off as I drove into the office? Did I yell at my kids for whatever infraction regardless of how small it truly was? Did I inflate my importance and devalued theirs? Did I blame others and justify my behavior to prove my point? Did I respect myself enough to live by my values or did I betray myself by acting indignant and self-righteous? Was I in the box?
It didn’t take long for me to see that I was indeed in the box with so many people I love and was betraying myself by not living by the standards my values call me to respect. It forced me to do a hard reset on my life and own all that I valued. I had to sacrifice a loving relationship because it did not honor either of us to stay in it as we had opposing visions for our future. I had to call myself out for my affair with depression. I could joke about how codependent my bed is but I also know every day is a choice to get up and face the world. I saw every place in my life where I was failing myself, and in turn, everyone in my life. It was time to take action.
So here I am on the fourth Monday of 2016. I may be a bit sleep deprived but there is fire in my soul to get up and do! I think I have a half dozen major projects I am working on outside of seeing my clients and trying to be a better mom to a couple of teenagers. The thought of being true to who I am and respecting myself puts my Being at ease. Owning who I am and who I am called to be feels exhilarating and joyful. I am acting with integrity and loving every moment!
Now it’s your turn! Are you in the box? Are you blaming others and justifying your own bad behavior? Are you acting with integrity and at peace with yourself? If not, think about where you might have fallen short and see what action you are called to do. Maybe it’s time for your own hard reset.