This week, I was trying to help a friend create her website. I know the process can be a little daunting but I genuinely thought this ought to be easy to show her how to get started. Then I experienced why it has been so hard for her. Every time I clicked on any part of the page, another page opened! That’s not what I was trying to do! Every time I tried to make something happen, anything happen, it did something that totally left me confused and frustrated! EVERY TIME!!! So I offered to take it home and have a look at it, thinking maybe this was a reasonably easy fix with a good c-cleaning and defrag. I was blessed to have my sister around, who ended up doing all of the work, and she found 60+ viruses and Trojans causing all of the mischief! Ugh!
That got me thinking. Dangerous, I know! We all have or have had our own versions of computer viruses and Trojans running in our background causing us to behave in some negative ways and hold negative beliefs. We have subconsciously installed malware into our minds that cause us to push away the ones who want to love us the most because we can’t truly believe they would want to be with us or might really hurt us if we let them all the way in. We push away Love because we have been damaged and don’t realize it. We think we’re trying our best, but can’t recognize what we’re doing is destructive to ourselves and our relationships.
One of mine was being called selfish from my dad, and it subconsciously made me believe that I wasn’t loveable and nobody would want me or like me as I was. I ended up doing all I could to be the teacher’s pet, gave all I had to my friends, and tried every way I knew how to attempt to get approval. It even showed up in all of my relationships as I picked men who were unavailable in some way, shape, or form like my dad had been. My personal malware ensured that every relationship would have a self-destruct button to push so I couldn’t really get hurt. This malware caused me to push away Love in some relationships while it kept me in negative cycles with others. It left my heart spinning, damaged, and confused!
Now it’s your turn to stop and think. When was there a time in your life when something bad happened to you or was said to you? Did you develop a negative belief from that experience? What agreements have you silently accepted over the years that have become your own malware? What damage has it caused in your own relationships with yourself and others? How much better can your life be if you were able to let them go?
I am fortunate to be rid of my personal malware, but it took lots of discovery, hard work, and support. You, too, can uncover your own malware and reboot your whole life. Though I may still be in recovery mode from some of the bigger viruses, the areas of my life that have been freed up are flourishing! It has helped me live with purpose and joy on a daily basis. I do have to actively monitor my system so no other malware can take root, but each day has been better than the last. Are you ready to be free from your malware? #comebefound